I saw Gordic toady for the first time in years. They are still with thier boyfriend and honestly look great and very happy. I found out they were in town yesterday and have been making an effort to see them. I hoped I would be able to apologize for everything I did. I said things I didn't mean when we fought. I cut him out of my life trying to get over my feelings for him so that I wouldn't lose him as a friend. But still lost him any way. I lied when he asked me if I liked him becuase I really didn't want to like him. I wanted my friend. I was so scared that I ended up messing everything up anyway. I'm so sorry for being a dick and I would really like to see him and his boyfriend when ever they are in town. I never regret losing people or cutting people out of my life except for him. I really want to be on good terms again. I miss our friendship a lot.
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