As queers we stereotypically have problems with our biological family. I did not have any issues with my biological patents after I came out. I told my dad first at 16 and my mom at 22. They both accept me and love me. However, there are somethings I have to explain or some stuff they just don't get. This gets tiring after a while. I also live most of my life in the queer community. I spend most of my time with other queer people. So I have a chosen family, not because mine rejected but to, but to deepen connections, bonds, and a sense of community. Now a days I normally get breakfast with my dad and spend the rest of father's day with my queers in boystown. Father's day is always during pride fest and I love my dad but I also love being queer. This year my dad was out of town so I worked and didn't really celebrate with him. But my chosen farther Turo was in town. I haven't seen him in 5 years. He's been traveling and went back to school on the east coast. But today I got to catch up with him. The queer community loves mom's. The vogue community has house mothers. Everyone has their chosen mother. At my school baby lesbians were called dikelings and always had a mother dike. But what about father's? We're not being kinky and talking about daddies, but actual father figures. I was lucky enough to have a "traditional" chosen family unit in highschool. My mother, a firce black trans women, and my father, a first generation gay latino actor and self made determined driven lover. Growing up with him was great. He would never tell me what to do which was and still is infuriating. He would ask me questions about it and tell me to follow my heart. Do what you love. He is so loving. He creates family and nurtures all those around him. My mother on the other hand pushes me, wants me to give it my all. My father has always stressed my happiness. Seeing him today, I hope I am making him proud. He asked me what I had been up to and if I still talked to my About Face people. He asked about school and love. We talked about how we are constantly seeking community. We went to bookstores and I met his boyfriend. Father's are stereotypically the disciplinarian or the fun parent. My father is the loving parent. I know my chosen mother love's me, always has and always will. But my father's love is more apparent. It comes from how he sees the world and the people in it. He has such a big heart and so much love to give. I want to see the world through his eyes. He has wanderlust just like I do, but his is more intentional. My is a self medicated escape from my depression, which is why my trips are all so short, you can only hold it off for so long. But his feeds his soul helps him grow. He takes everything in and is so grateful and humble amidst it all. Growing up kids never see their patents faults and want to emulate then becuase of that. But I was past that when I met Turo. I know he's not perfect but he is really good and I hope to emulate that.
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