I have so much to write about by just simply existing in this country. I am pretty sure I would not be able to write about it or go out in the world to try to make changes to it if I lived in a different country. So first let me say I am rather happy I am an American because with the exception of like 10 other countries everywhere else is just as fucked or worse off than this one. However, I would be happier if I was a male, and upper middle class or rich. Who wouldn't be happy rich. They only have first world problems. Not to say that I don't have a lot of first world problems ( see daily struggles) but I have a lot of human rights problems too. My life would be happier if I was heterosexual, if I choose between science and religion, and if I didn't suffer from 5 different disabilities. I would be happier if I was gender conforming, less intelligent believe it or not, or just generally mor conforming. However, what would greatly improve my overall happiness and greatly effect my life experiences would be if I was born White. I am black, Bi, Queer, an engineer, Christan, a sister, a brother, a child ( of many parents), poor ( for all intents and purposes), a world traveler ( that's new), a friend ( a good one according to them), a person who has ADD/ADHD, a person who suffer from depression, a person who has 2 different learning disabilities, legally blind, not a republican, an activist, a lover of animals, a lover of the environment, a car enthusiast, a social alcoholic, and a chocolate conasour. But I put black first today because I am home in they city were being black is almost a crime. Or at least that is the way it feels. When I am away at school I would say Bisexual or Queer first because I feel those identities the most. Mostly because I am super culturally homo. I don't feel culturally black at all. I have black friends but they also don't feel culturally black or understand what it would be like to feel that way. I feel a part of the Queer community I actively participate and seek out the community where ever I go. I don't do that with almost every other identity I listed but I claim them because I feel they are important parts of me. I wouldn't even claim it if it wasn't an identity you could see. It is never really a big deal or part of who I am to be black except for when I am out in the world. If I am home, work, with friends, or just generally indoors its okay. But outside it is dangerous for me, and I am forced to I am Black. It effects how I walk, how I talk, where I sit on the bus, everything I do I have to be sure not to seem dangerous, or angry. To keep calm and look as peacful as possible. Sometimes I really consider saying " a yes sa, no sa, oh yes happy to sa" but then I remember I am a person who has rights to be treated like everyone else. That I will not be a victim of racial profiling because we have come father than that. Right? My president is half black that counts right? That speaks to how far we have come right? Sadly no. There is a war on gangs, and a war on violence which means their is a genocide of blacks. We are killing each other then the police are shooting us because we are dangerous. My life expectancy is so much lower just because I'm black and live in a black neighborhood. They throw kids graduation parties for graduating kindergarten and 8th grade because they might die before they finish highschool. When we die if we are lucky to make the news the media choose a photo to further their own agenda that black people are dangerous people. Like the photos they use of terrorist to insight fear and make us happy they are dead. But these are fellow Americans, our own country men. Why all the propaganda? Is it a crime to be poor? To have a substandard of living? To be receiving a piss poor public eduction at a school that is grossly under funded? Or is it simply a crime to be black? Based on the color of our skin we scar the people who took an oath to protect and serve us so they killed us instead. I rather not have police in my city. They only solve 25% of murder cases. We aren't going to talk about how many of that 25% is later found innocent. A few more rape cases are solved at 30%. But the numbers in generally for violent crimes are staggering. The response times in black neighborhoods are deplorable. It took them 15mins to respond to an emergency I had once and the police department is about 8 blocks away. When they finally go their I expected to see them on foot instead of in a car. Did I mention there was a patrol car at the Dunkin' Doughnuts 2 blocks away? I know blacks and cops don't get along but frankly history doesn't give us any cause to cooperate. Also the cops don't seem to be getting it together anytime soon. They keep shoot us, abusing us, and getting away with it. We keep lying, not telling what we see, and not caring enough to try to report stuff and get things changed in our neighborhood. Its a complex problem and its going to take a complex solution and completely different way of life for black people. But until then if they gunned me down would they use a photo that represents all the good I had to offer the world or one that makes me look dangerous?
stay alive
J-Skittle
No comments:
Post a Comment