so remember the last post i did about how esty is my person and what not. remember how i was suppose to tell him that he was my person because i am a direct person. i don't like making assumptions about things that are of interest or are important to me. i may already know but i won't accept it as truth until i am told. that way if there is some way in hell that i am wrong i'm not so hurt or shocked but i digress. anyway i chickened out. i was going to tell esty the day after i wrote my post so like way back in oct. on like the 15 or something like that. but my " fake boyfriend" got to me first and they put all these ideas in my head and now i can't get them out. my " fake boyfriend" was like you should date esty. and i was like eww no they are all vegan and shit and i don't want to be all vegan and shit. but then i thought about it and now i can get him out my head. esty is all i think about i went and ate vegan food with them and if i'm lucky i get to watch him eat fire later :) ! however there are some things about etsy that make liking him or wanting to date him more complicated. but i can't tell you cuz thats not my place and i respect his wish to keep some things to himself. if he was all out there with stuff i would totally tell you but he's not so i can't. so this part is not going to make much sense because i can't tell you but i want to try to explain my struggles with etsy to you. i wasn't going to date etsy because he's not my type in a certain way. he is a certain type of person and i was like i could never date that type of person due to all the baggage that comes along wit it. i just couldn't handle it. also i was having some small personal crises having to do with my sexuality. i just don't want to change it. i just settled in to being bisexual. i am comfortable and i understand me. now i would have to change it to pan or queer or something. i like the bi colors so much more than the pan colors ( no offense pan people) etsy is fucking with my sexuality. i don't appreciate. but he is so fucking hot.
okay side note so that this makes a little bit of sense aka hint time* so being bi you date guys and girls and everybody assumes that i like everyone in the world. but thats not true thats pan. i only like girls and guys. but not everybody identifies as one or the other. gender lines are really murky. cuz you could identify as a girl but be a guy. i wouldn't date you that does not fall within my little box. you could look like a guy identify as a guy but still have girl genitalia. again that does not fit in my box. if you want to limit yourself to the binary genders then your bi if not your pan or queer. and i'm Bi but i find myself falling for etsy who is outside of the binary genders and is somewhere in murky gender land.
back to the actual post through if i was to date etsy i would no longer be bi. i would have to change. i would probably just be queer then. but would i really be queer or is this a one/ two time thing (esty has a fine ass friend who is just like him in murky gender land i swear they grow em fine as hell out there lol) thats the other thing etsy has a fine as friend who love to flirt with me ( we are going to call him santiago). and i'm a mega flirt so i can't help it. plus i kinda like how sexy he makes me feel. but i'm stop cuz idk i love etsy but santiago would be fun, easy, hot, sweaty, passion, and sexy. it would be college. i kinda wanna be bad and do both >:D muahahaha. and santiago is a dancer so its steamy when i hang out with esty and santiago. oh and then there's one more person angel who keeps the two boys living peacefully she is a doll. we all hang out and eat vegan food together its pretty chill and things get pretty strange but its nice. i think thats the only thing that i am sure of when i hang out with them. that things will be strange but fun everything else that happens idk what it means or if it actually happened. i would have to get out of my own head to date etsy and i am just not sure if i could do that. but i am going on a date with him on monday 11/5 so i guess i will have too. i have never freaked out so much because before when i would freak out it was just me being dramatic now i'm actually freaking out. what does one wear on a vegan date anyway. what am i allowed to eat on a vegan date? somebody help me cuz i am a mess already and it's only friday 11/2. this is too complicated. like actually i thought it would be a lot easier than this.
Stay Fierce yall ( fiercer than me me right now anyway)
okay side note so that this makes a little bit of sense aka hint time* so being bi you date guys and girls and everybody assumes that i like everyone in the world. but thats not true thats pan. i only like girls and guys. but not everybody identifies as one or the other. gender lines are really murky. cuz you could identify as a girl but be a guy. i wouldn't date you that does not fall within my little box. you could look like a guy identify as a guy but still have girl genitalia. again that does not fit in my box. if you want to limit yourself to the binary genders then your bi if not your pan or queer. and i'm Bi but i find myself falling for etsy who is outside of the binary genders and is somewhere in murky gender land.
back to the actual post through if i was to date etsy i would no longer be bi. i would have to change. i would probably just be queer then. but would i really be queer or is this a one/ two time thing (esty has a fine ass friend who is just like him in murky gender land i swear they grow em fine as hell out there lol) thats the other thing etsy has a fine as friend who love to flirt with me ( we are going to call him santiago). and i'm a mega flirt so i can't help it. plus i kinda like how sexy he makes me feel. but i'm stop cuz idk i love etsy but santiago would be fun, easy, hot, sweaty, passion, and sexy. it would be college. i kinda wanna be bad and do both >:D muahahaha. and santiago is a dancer so its steamy when i hang out with esty and santiago. oh and then there's one more person angel who keeps the two boys living peacefully she is a doll. we all hang out and eat vegan food together its pretty chill and things get pretty strange but its nice. i think thats the only thing that i am sure of when i hang out with them. that things will be strange but fun everything else that happens idk what it means or if it actually happened. i would have to get out of my own head to date etsy and i am just not sure if i could do that. but i am going on a date with him on monday 11/5 so i guess i will have too. i have never freaked out so much because before when i would freak out it was just me being dramatic now i'm actually freaking out. what does one wear on a vegan date anyway. what am i allowed to eat on a vegan date? somebody help me cuz i am a mess already and it's only friday 11/2. this is too complicated. like actually i thought it would be a lot easier than this.
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| this is me right now cuz i won't stop freaking out i made myself sick |
Stay Fierce yall ( fiercer than me me right now anyway)
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